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My hope and prayer is that by having and sharing these conversations, men and women in leadership will realize that the 25-plus singles are truly a neglected demographic within the Church—and then do something about it.
It’s time to make some noise, approach our leaders and do our part to build bridges and opportunities for singles to connect.
The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person. Get to know yourself.” And as soon as the person you are dating smacks his or her gum the wrong way, you are out. I heard don’t have sex before marriage so much I actually believed getting to marriage a virgin was the only important thing. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. Make sure God is the center of your life before you start dating. Don’t start dating without an assurance of God’s love for you and a solid understanding of the gospel.
Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose.
You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse, and is compatible with you. Just end the relationship, and continue to seek the Lord. Again, please don’t be a freakish weirdo and give Christians a negative label. My wife loves the Lord, and I can say with all certainty I wouldn’t be following Jesus without her. It’s dangerous riding on the road to marriage without an idea of where you are going. Don’t sit someone down on the first date and interview them to make sure they meet all of the qualities.
But once you get into the relationship, you realize things aren’t as they seemed. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse. In this scenario, your spouse is there to pray for you, put his or her arm around you, and walk with you.
Christians need to stop stressing so much about dating. FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, relationship expert, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates.
Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target.
If you want to get to that point, consider taking my 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life e-course.
I think this is a really legitimate concern, and one in which I hope and pray the Church will listen and begin to fill the needs of this generation.
Men are looking for a cross between Mother Teresa and America’s Next Top Model, while women are after the Jesus-loving-Brad-Pitt.
As I read through and interacted with the comments, five big-picture themes emerged as to why #The Dating Scene is on snooze for most single Christians: One of the most common things that many singles reported experiencing from the opposite sex is the unrealistic standard of what they’re looking for in a relationship.